I haven’t been writing anything for a while. Sure, life feels like it gets stuck sometimes and you just do not have the energy to be creative. However, I could still talk to people all over the world thanks to this blog. I may not know you all personally, but I can understand all your self-doubt and struggle and dreams. I was there once. One time I was talking to my friend about all this and commenting “I think my chance (of getting accepted) is like 1% considering all aspects from finance to language”. She asked me why I wouldn’t just quit and find something else with a higher chance of success. I startled for a second. Giving up was never a consideration or an option for me. Maybe I was simply born stubborn. I knew what I wanted and was willing to work hard to earn it myself.
I was not born into a rich family although it may sound like it with a neurosurgeon father and a dentist mother. Things were different in Vietnam in the 80s and 90s. Being a doctor was one of the low-paid careers. There came other problems as well which I would like to forget and forgive. I absolutely was not one of those kids who could get whatever they want. I am never “the center of the universe”, more like a sidekick in any kind of story. I was taught to be a well-behaved girl and nothing more, so I did not feel like I was special, or I was good enough. I was indeed a very ordinary girl growing up in a third world country. Hence there comes all my self-doubt but also comes all my determination.
I never requested my parents for what I really wanted – I always picked the cheapest dress/backpack/notebooks, etc in stores – and told myself when I grew up I would work really hard, so I could afford all those sparkly things. I understood the bigger items, the harder it would take to get. That’s why I never expect this whole dream to be easy. I knew it would be a one-in-a-million chance because it’s worth it!
Is it really worth it? I asked myself this question a thousand times now I am on the other side of the story – I’ve already achieved my life-long dream. I am pretty sure my other colleagues also ask this themselves. I recently got a question “Do dentists in the US have a lavish lifestyle?” No honey, we don’t. Our life gets swept away by all kinds of bills – student loan repayment, license renewal, malpractice insurance, disability insurance, car payment, rent/mortgage payment, membership renewal for ADA/Local ADA/AGD/Spear, etc. I was living paycheck to paycheck my 1st year out of school no matter how much money I made. I was stressed out because I don’t have any saving money in case something goes off-track. If you listen to those podcasts by dentists, “stress” is the word you hear in every single episode. We work in the healthcare industry but are forced to think like businessmen/women and deal with people the same way with retail services. So, is it really worth it?
It is for me. It can be different for you though. So, before you decide to give up your homeland, your family, your friends, to dream about a new life in a different country, be honest to yourself – why do you want to pursue dentistry and what do you hope to achieve? If you are not honest to yourself and only pursue a dream “just because my parents want me to”, you will suffer. I don’t want to see other people regretting their decision while sitting on top of the new empire you work so hard for. If you are in it for the money, you may enjoy it for a while before paying all bills at the end of the month. Well, or maybe 10 years later after working hard and being smart about saving/investing the money instead of spending it in a brand new Mercedes. If you are in it for a lavish lifestyle, well the first year out of school I only wish I have a life after work. If you think you will have an easy life after graduation, life is never easy – you get paid more than average, so you have stress more than average. I promise you that I complain on my head almost every single day.
Then why I still think it’s a good idea? It is a great platform to build the life I want. It is the freedom that I want to have. Yes, I still have to work even harder than I’ve ever been but I have the “transportation” to go places. If I really want a designer bag, I have to save for it but at least I know I will get it. I know I should live with my mom to save money, but a place for my own is kinda my “designer bag” so I still pay rent every month. I know I can afford an apartment. I know I can afford that bottle of perfume. I know I can afford the meal there. I know I can afford the ticket traveling back home to Vietnam. I may not actually purchase all that but it’s empowering comparing to how I grew up. I can choose to save money for myself or support my family. I can choose to save money for new perfume or travel (I know my sin). I work so hard, so I can have the freedom to choose what I want to do with my life. For a new immigrant like myself, this is all I ask for.
So if you think dentistry will automatically bring you a mansion, a Tesla, and a Birkin bag, you are in the wrong field. There is nothing wrong if those are your motivations (mine is a house looking over a lake or a beach), but if you think it’s automatic, I want to give you a reality check. If what you actually want is freedom, pride, sense of achievement, being a model for your children to follow, being an inspiration, etc then maybe it will worth it for you as well. Let it be your guiding star through a difficult journey ahead and never lose sight of who you are and what you want.
Love, Hannah.